when open inverted comas stays open.
we see. we listen. we feel. we know. but what could we do. because we're all trapped. in this part where we can't reach out. we saw you screaming. for help that never comes. cries of kids that never stops. running. buildings rumbling. the sky's bombing. color black and gray. smokes fill everywhere. cackling of fires. falling of trees. dying from disease. pleading to stop. praying for a new tomorrow.
and all we need to see are changes. and i can't help being concern but not able to do anything about it.
when the dark night glows the brightest orange.
rainbow rush(:
embrace yourself.
now the mistake is made clear. you were always left in the wrong. you were the mistake. never was others. you're the flaw that covered us. you wasn't thinking. you weren't thinking. you're too self-centered. pushing others up against the wall to get through them. you were always envious. and you were the only mistake you've never known. im now pointing out on you.
look at what you've done.
rainbow rush(:
but you broke me and i can't feel anything.
it tears me up.to forgive but its not enough to make it all okay.cause the truth hurts and im not in the right state of mind.i cant even convince myself to turn away.we had nothing to lose while we're just on our own.we moved on only to feel something an hour away.side glances.it never works.im telling you something that ain't real.the last night's hangover.
the sun goes down.i feel the light betray me.
rainbow rush(:
we saw it coming for so long we stare in silence.
yesterday's love still freshly bleeds. an open wound still red. i got sick of this games. its not going to be long before i leave. for now i'll follow you along. before it all falls out.
we let time slips by but we're always back at where we were before.
rainbow rush(:
taking control.
was home quite early today. the fam had late lunch outside followed by a visit to the hospial. mother's cousin is sick, and she's in a coma now. just had surgery from brain tumor. poor her, but it really moved me to have to look at her like that, all lifeless. sadly, the patient beside her just passed away, and the body was still on the bed, covered by the curtains. the dead's relatives all around the corridor and the ward. some were inside, by her bed, crying their heart out. their loud sobs heard, and me and the fam stood with blank faces watching the nurses bringing out the dead's body from the ward. to the mortuary. sad and scary, but that doesn't stop me and sister playing chop cili chop like some crazy asses afterwards -_-" nb, so inhuman.
NAFA's open house was hectic. running here and there, even though the start of it was really mundane. like waiting for 'customers' to take around the campus. the friday's event is more to school visits. and surprisingly, i was assign to take my ex-secondary school for the tour. yey! had some catch-ups done with the fellow friends that i've met, taking them from floor to floor, into galleries after galleries. man it was hectic. and don't get me started about the elevator cases. ended the day with my favourite people around, getting drunk on mamak's iced milk-tea. saturday got worse, kids came down with their parents and kept on asking things we don't know, like music, dand and etc. so all we did is to blabb them with whatever infos we have and lead them to the lecturer's office. so many people was there, but me and sally left early with the arrival of tasha,linds,kamal,arfake and syahed and hid, wawa,elfy,zan and sasa. lol! off to scape babies! met syaid and his friend fahim. even though i wasn't much into the mood, i tried to lift it off with the best people around me. its been fun my friends, and im thankful to have my path crossed with you guys. swear, i could have never asked for more. even yesterday was quite a heartbreak, i love you guys much(:
how i wish you were there to see me break.
down.
rainbow rush(:
ahh..achoo?
western painting is awesome. the class is damn small with only ten students, and we were to get our materials ready for next week, where we'll be starting to paint. yes!yes! like finally! mr chng only brief us on the introduction of water colour painting for today, and sure it is alot of information for whatever materials is preferable for painting. and talisa's hostel is damn awesomely cool. random(:
its very disturbing to have flu. wait! im not finished. to have flu in the LEFT PART OF THE NOSE ONLY. whud the fuck right?! and its not mucus for god's sake. its water dripping out from the left part of the nose and having like something stuck in your throat. fishcake! its just the second day of school, and falling sick already?! aiyah!
and sally and me decided to join the chingay 2009 floor parade. stationed along cityhall, we're involved for three days only. but it's yet to be confirmed, lets see how it goes(:
joining stars
rainbow rush(:
we believe its true.
first day of school turned out quite well. despite the draggy 2 hours lecture, we made it through. and window shopping afterwards at marina. that tetek fiee wants to look for stuffs to shop and so we round the whole of marina, but she end up with no idea what to look for. but i still enjoyed every bit of it, wishing i have all the cash to get whatever i want. (dream on hud..remember what mother says???!) and so we got tired and end up at mcd catching up. ohyes, wawa was telling us about how she got into an 'accident'. it was damn hilarious, cause she got the metal barricade thing pierced into her right foot at zoukout! hahahaha!! we were laughing our ass off when she told us that but got so damn squirmish when she told us how the wound looked like; LASAGNE?!!?!? we were like what the fuck?? crazy it is she didnt feel the pain of it and even have time dancing until she realized her foot feels wet, finding her right foot all soaked in blood. and dont even get me started how she tell us about the stitching part, man i could go all jelly....!
on the way home, fiee, nuzzy and myself were talking about the world and the aftermath. aftermath? what the fuck...the hereafter. its disturbing somehow when we talk about this. and the scientist predicted the world is coming to an end in 2012, that is in 3 years time. goodness.. fate can;t be predicted, and so we can't just ignore this and we can't also over-react. the thing is, for now, do what is right and try not to fall out from what we've learnt. i guess i need to understand the holy pillars again. its been sometime since i touch the praying mat.
slap myself awake, i need to wake up.
rainbow rush(:
like a flower, it withers over time.
i had fun yesterday, despite the cancelled gig over at rp. headed over to bestie's and off we went to meet the rest at DG. accompanied by the "white niggas", tasha, elfy and zan and bestie herself. it was one hell of a night. to end the day, with dan on the cell singing lullabies. sweeeet way to end off the school holidays. tomorrow im getting back on track for school! can't wait (:
over coffee and tea we had biscuits
rainbow rush(:
aiming fire.
its been sometime since the last post. no reason why, i just hate the net at times, kills my vision-_-' the two days teambuilding camp in school has been great. awesome i say! had great fun with new friends made along the way, and we totally bond. can't wait for the open house. and since im here, i'd like to promote NAFA's open house. grins. kental i know, but whatever. meet me there bitches.
sher-long-kang(:
rainbow rush(:
this war. its crazy.
having to read up on war and bombings after bombings on the newpaper is getting frustrating. its like getting an update on the toll number of deaths and how the war is progressing. it feels like shit to have innocent lives killed at the other side of the earth and not having to be able to do anything about it. latest readings is about a few UN-runned school being bombed. fucking shit. there's kids in there. what the fuck is wrong with these people, killing like there's nothing better to do. this ain't no 'battlefield'. fucking shit. for once, you people are insane. and worst, their only lifeline to the outside world was cut-off yesterday when a blardy bomb hit it. to be honest, hitler should be thanked. not discriminate. fuck you sin-heads.
im locking myself up for god knows why.
rainbow rush(:
daniel made me brain-dead talking about fruits and nuts. to be exact, i fell asleep.
xoxo nincompoop!
rainbow rush(:
2009
this year i celebrated new year's eve outside. well, not at the comfort of home like i usually did for the past few years. i had this year's at the usual spot where all the crowd will turn themselves at, city hall. what's a better way to start off the new year than watching live fireworks! not that i've been watching it mostly on the tv for the past few years -_-" right, so the initial plan was to pasir ris but plans was diverted and i met linds and get our ass to cityhall to meet the 'usual' people. as usual, they were late, but tried so hard to cover themselves up from being late,well..they're still late! ok, whatever whatever. we then we unusually settle ourselves in the middle of nowhere, outside starbucks marina. and i saw ELFY!! and ANDY!! excited!! its been so long since we last met, gee im so psyched! did some catching up:) okok, this post is getting boring. lets cuts short. after the powerful fireworks, we head to where ever and yes, i got home. no i didn't stayed overnight-_- and im so bored, i cnt get to sleep for god knows why.
so,its the start of a new year. say, a start of something new. maybe, a part of me here and there will stay but for sure things have to change. i guess you'll have to be the change if you wants to see one. (?!? wtfuck am i talking here?!?) lets see, 2008 has been a great memory. getting into a new school as a freshie, meeting great people on the way, awesome people for friends and companion, turning eighteen, legally legal?!?, having fun. everything's great, but along the way i've learned a few things in life. as we grow older, we see things in a different way, and nothing can stop us from that except for ourselves. having fun was my greatest challenge. i guess, being having fun is a way for you to care about those around you, to think of consequences, not having to jump start like i did, and to think before acting. being a dumbass at a point of just striking eighteen surely made me think. and i believe there's always ways to turn yourself towards something positive. and you have to lead yourself to it. so here come 2009. ready. set. go!! live your life baby! with limits:)
oh boy, you make me wanna beat myself all over.
rainbow rush(:
