welcome home.
sleepover at bestfriend was awesome.simply awesome.and i never had that kind of sleep before.super lenyak.heehee.i enjoyed collage-ing till late.i can go on and on till whenever(:
so i thought funkycurls was mad at me cause i forget to fetch him.surprisingly,he was over at my place when i got back.bodoh.want to jet-lag,jet-lag at my house.like homeless like that.lol.ok.i kid!!
was glad.to find him around.sadly,he didnt get me anything.only foreign chips,sweets,nachos and teabag???and even have the cheek to tell me he saw 'love is the movement' shirt at aust.PFFFFTTT!!!!!dude.one week.one week you're there and you got me food??!!! as if there's not enough food here in singapore.hmph.boring sia funkycurls!lucky thing he's not staying over to watch soccer tonight.tee-hee.and yes.i've met casper.and we're dating.so????!!!!lol!
currently;everyone's wide awake except little sister.the whole house smells like durian.and they're going gaga over 'tatoo wars'.siao.
rockstar turns matrep?!
rainbow rush(:
ends won't meet.
it gets irritating.everything around me irritates me.for the slightest reason or idea,i got pissed about everything.nicely.it started off last night.yeah.started a fire(one night only album title:]).heheh.fuck.ok.im not suppose to be merry.ok.fine im pissed.i don't wish to have uncool people around me.hmph.it hurts to know.like now.its better off coming down and put a bullet in me.fucking better right.fucking selfish.ok stop!whatever.and casper has to put salt in the wound by saying stuffs.damn you.dude,it's evil of you to shoo cats.what.a.bad.ass.and yes.i can't hold puppies.and they're irresistibly cute.so?stop animal abuse.
p/s;kicking cockroach is not animal abuse.its pest control.(for real.son of a bitch.)
on the bright side.i won a pair of vip tickets to RSC BLOCK PARTY at Mt.Sophia.like yeyeyeyey!!since its on the 19th,im taking BF with me since its a few days before school.and shall take my girls along too.PARTYPARTYPARTY!!ok.stop.shardup.GRINS.
haizan came out of nowhere.no.where.i don't know where.haha!ok.no.he called to ask for love.errr.ok.not.he called for comfort?fuck.everything sounds wrong.whatever.whatever.
dude.ends won't meet.you pissed me off too.SOB.
you were always lost.never you were never.SOB.
rainbow rush(:
bubble.
can barely woke up in the morning.rushed to work.5 minutes late.slept in the bus.almost missed my stop.casper's late wake-up call.dude,i'm already at work.you owe me 5 minutes.hmph.had meeting.good meeting.nice operation manager.ok.whatever.
met my girls;hid.amely.danny.i had fun!yeyey!like finally.even though i was kinda tired,they cheered me up.woohoo=D esplanade.camwhoring.town.crap.laugh.laugh.laugh.ok.i feel good.espacially at esplanade.i finally moshed hid!yes!finally!huahuahua.well.thanks to herself too.i'm just trying to defend meself.*grins*
window shopped.in a week's time i'm gonna shop for school.yes!bags.shoes.laptop if needed.tops.pants.skirts.clothes.everything.
saturday.oh.saturday.which gig.music garage.art house.home club.ohman.3 gigs in one day.no way.gah!
i think im indifferent.an old friend sait i've changed.like what?!fiesty?checked!whatever.whatever.i'm turning over for good.errr....checked!!!!
new.casper;let's go somerset and skate! skate my foot.pfft!
stop bubbling already +D
rainbow rush(:
i got dawg.
so yesterday i was transferred to far east outlet till closing.got dad to drop me at Somerset for casper.since he wants to walk me to work.oh well. that mothertoot almost killed me with his board.purposely ramping it onto me. ya duh!not funny asshole.it hurts.next time i'll ramp you with my tricycle and put you under a hot sun! lol.the sunburn. he got into a little tiff with the green-man cause he skates in the station and the board knocked on to the glass entrance.oh.the embarassment.and i like calling him 'english-man'.for god's sake.yes you're turning 22.not 42.but not 12 either!grow up dawg.
so.this week's a little off.more to work and fam/frens outing.made new friends; casper's buddy sammy.fareast supervisor/crew Im and Yati and Aviva.the cool and awesomely always hungry kitchen crews.not forgetting the hot Mervyn.=)
got my orientation ticket from nafa!like yey!got my 300+ school bursury.yey fulusss!and orientation's on the 15th next mth.like 2 more weeks?no.3 more weeks.yeyey!school school here i come!
blueberry vodka? :| screw casper james
and i'm damn bored cause no funkycurls to disturb me during my sleep.and.and.people have been missing.not people lah.person.whatever.i miss you.
the convo now im having kills the shit.
rainbow rush(:
uh,hello.
met bestfriend for breakfast and off to triple s to get testimonial.and so met charmaine,liyana and kavitha!yey!its been so long since we saw each other.like finally!and so watched kungfu panda at vivo.did some catching up and got home early.thanks to father who barked mad.and found him not around when i reached home.thanks a bunch.shall/will meet up with the girls soon for more trips to come.well.soon.soon before i start school.yippee!school's starting in a month's time and i'm PSYCHED!like finally!but still.a month to go.haiyaahh.
so i've to work at far east tomorrow.arghh!shit!damn.i don't like it there.grrr!fuckfuckfuck!
accompany mum to cp to pay bills,and i can't stop myself over-hearing this 2 guys convo.well.i didn't mean to.but they were just infront of us lining up for axs.and they're loud.like they're trying to get the whole world to hear them.fucker.so.they were talking about girls.how this guy going off with another girl and another blah blah blah blah.one word.show-offs.ok.is that two words?!ok.whatever.yea.no offence but yes.i agree guys are jerks.they are a big assholic ego infested jerks that are blessed with a brain and a heart to think and feel but act like they don't have one.apart from those who make use of them.oh.if you have balls,don't chicken out on us girls.act like you have them balls.ok.i rest my case.
so i've taught Casper some malay words cause he wants to 'widen his knowledge of foreign language'.and i think he got sunburned from his trip to sentosa just now.cause the last he called me he went; ouch.ouch.i think i'm burned!
ever heard of sunblocks Casper dear?? :)
oh!and bestfriend.i taught him BINATANG.hehehe
bina-what?
rainbow rush(:
boreee.
so my last post was only hours ago.i'm bored.get it!gaypartner can't stop nudging at msn and casper.oh.casper.now he's reading to me over the phone.oh god.sickness.
oh.and im sick.sore throat.sore eyes.sore ears.sore head.sore feet.
sickness.
sickness.
read me to sleep :)
rainbow rush(:
date
was out to pasir ris from noon yesterday.the sun was blazing hot and so i stayed under the shade at the theme park.call me a loser making mum pay 17 bucks for entry and i sat there till 7.well.not quite actually.got on rainbow and that spinning thing and inverter.haha!inverter!mum freaked out watching the ride going on.oh mother.our guts won't come pouring out even if we're overturned!lol.saw aisha;someone i used to hang out with.after the kids got their fun,went to meet brother at hub.super packed.so we just head in to fair price to get necessities.got dad to picked us up to changi.
so.casper called.offered a ride around town.so since brother knows he's funkycurls friend he tags along.brother and me bailed out and met casper.drove up to changi hospital and spooked brother's ass off.pushed him out of the car and left him in darkness.haha!well.just for seconds.and he hop on back all scared.hahaha!so kental.and off to town we go.just for a while and to kallang drive thru.dad was already barking on the phone.hahas.
ok.great time.with great people.i didn't know casper can singlish until he did.brother and casper is the man! grins :) oh.and next week funkycurls!!!!!
date-lah!
rainbow rush(:
the day was spent with bestfriend.i had fun.honest :)
and bumped into ati,mai,zakiy,jacs :)
casper called on my way back home.asked for funkycurls.but end up having a long convo.i told him everything.inside out.i just need to tell someone.spill everything.at first,it seems weird somehow.but,letting it out to someone you just knew,who listens,encourage and help is different.casper's different.he's like funkycurls.seriously.i badly misses him.yes.i let out everything to casper.everything.he let me say it all out.maybe he's right.letting it out means cleaning up.cause keeping it all in will rot you.how much your heart aches.how you feels the hollow pit in your stomach churn.your throat goes dry.your mind not thinking straight.you feel like crying but holds it back.you try to hide but have nowhere to run.cause everything will just crumbles down to you in the end.its better now than wait.his words hit me deep.so deep.my eyes sting with water.i may be alright.but inside isn't.i can't fake it.im too soft.how much longer you have to pretend.pretend everything's alright.while inside you're slowly breaking.i'm wearing thin.he saying all this make me more furious.furious with myself.mad at him for saying all this.for so long.i've keep it inside.didn't want it to appear.brushing it off like it didn't matter.i wouldn't say faking.its just ignoring.i don't want to drag and get mad.i want everything to run smooth.so you think its alright?its alright to be like this?to fighting for this alone and not letting it out?you ask yourself.is this right for you.did you ask for it to be this way?i don't think so.go on.ask yourself.im alone.even though there's people around me.i feel so lonely.sometimes.i feel i have nowhere to turn to.i don't like burden.i hate it to trouble others.its just so wrong.i feel wronged for them to worry about me.its not right.what is not right?there's no other cure than having to talk to someone.communication make things work.it runs all connection.why would you say that way.how could you even think that way.you don't get better keeping quiet.you're in pain,you'll say it.shout.people around you'll hear you.you don't keep quiet when you start bleeding.you can't.i like it this way.oh.no.i'm selfish.to myself.sometimes.i feel like i don't know myself anymore.maybe i just need someone.someone.to break me.to make me fall to the ground.to look me into the eye and break me for all means.to hurt me.to hurt me straight.right in front of me.to say it to me.to shout at me.to let me down.just once.so i'll get over and come clean.you want that?are you sure about it.it will hurt.alot.but better for the long run.you'll get better.it'll be once.and you're done for it.it'll come smacking the whole of you.why?because it'll make you recover.recover from everything.everything you're keeping.everything that you thought about.i want to recover from this.i want to come clean.i feel so dirty.why does it work this way.i hate it.i hate it.because life's like that.you have a taste of everything.sweet.bitter.sour.its unfair.life's unfair.you should love yourself.stand up for yourself.
casper.thank you.
tonight i've learn to cry from anger.
I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance
I know now, this is who I really am
rainbow rush(:
plainsunset.river song.
lack of updates.on hiatus for a week.off from work.but never off from outings and errands.so.this pass week.many days out with bestfriend.family days.met love.melvin meet-ups for 'monstees'.late night soccer matches with brother over the tv.immensing with brother's psp.drawing.drawings.and more drawings.
now brother never takes his psp to work anymore,so we siblings always fight over who gets to play the game first thing in the morning.need for speed carbon is damn addictive and my tumb's all sore.
i don't know why,but i tend to get angry fast these few days.well,more like frustrated.went berserk with brother over the phone cause he won't gave me the new password to access the computer.sometimes how i wish i'll trade funkycurls for a brother.seriously.Funkycurls a much better brother.i mean.he listens to my problems and all.even though at times he really gets on my nerves at times.unlike brother.since he's working 8 to 12 on most days,its so hard to see him.what more talk to him.and whenever either one of us open our mouth,we end up shouting and fighting over unnecessary stuffs.hmph.anyway.funkycurls called home on saturday night to complain about the wheather.gah!and he promise me a trip to his workplace when he gets back.ha.ha.
since bestfriend has moved to admiralty,saturday was the last bus ride home to home sweet home.so.it'll be less off hunting and random meets.no more galilee dates.no more frequent spying at cp.oh.its gonna be bored without bestfriend. :(
so.label's up.its 'monstees'.i find it cute actually!and melvin is so patient to have things done so thoroughly.i promise it's gonna be great!!
family days.saturday to science centre.so random.idk why science centre!?saw funkycurls friend;Casper!haha.was at the waterworks trying to figure out this funny looking thing,then i saw him saw me.hoho!i thought he was joking when he tells his name.hah!
so.sunday.walked all around IMM.again.idk why IMM!?just because mum want to see her friend's newly opened shop there.ohman.the place's super big and damn crowded.i bailed out and sat at mcd with brother's psp!huahuahua.
love.there's so much i wanna say when i'm with you.but.like i've said.i go blank whenever i see you.idk why.hehe.i miss my pony:)
and i'm starting work this week.talked to ricky over the phone during his working hours.haha.seems amk outlet is slacking good.yey finally.
a new day.a new story.
rainbow rush(:
andrew?
a day with my best gaypartner.ramen ten sucks.somehow.im so sick of it.i still have to wait for salary.like fuck.gah!
hunting.for tees for labels purposes.okay.i cant wait.excited!woohoo.
shites.no sleep tonight.tv.pencil.paper.draw!
oh.oh.i forgot my mint green tea and coco crunch duo.
waha.
dude.i feel immense now.
how?
andrew?
oh.andrew?
jeez.
the best.ever:)
rainbow rush(:
MY COMPUTER IS ONE BODOH THING!
fuck!close your eyes and count to ten.
rainbow rush(:
darf.
sometimes i wonder.is this worth it.is life worth living this way.i thought about what a friend told me weeks back.21 December 2012.four years from now.if history's going to end its chapter.than it will be.somehow logic it may sounds.but god says not to listen and judge.instead.wait and be ready.and four years from now i'll be done with school.working maybe.but if.if.it ends that day.i won't have any say.
for the lack of updates.its been kin of full these days.work.chores.labels.
labels starting and i'm giving my all.so as for this week,no work scheduled for me.all eyes,handsand brain on proposal for business.hopefully it'll go well *fingers crossed*.
ystd.over to hiid's for packing.awesome time.then to galilee and home.
how do i say this.i should be pissed.but i'm not that kind of person.i diss arguments and fighting.
but.i'm irritated with people who can't keep their word.and i diss waiting.just so you know.even whoever you are to me,when you say something or promise something,i looked into it.i'm not ignorant to says.im just ignorant to other stuffs.i diss if you won't tell me.its better you say it all.better acceptance that way.i hate being stupid and hanging around when someone don't need me.put yourself in my shoe.see if you like it.
funkycurls is off to Perth this morning.two weeks holidays.means 2 weeks w/o him around.like yey!instead of saying goodbye.he bids 'toodles gila.'say.did i tell you how glad i am him going off.pfft.
i can't sleep last night.like again.damn.
tll 5.i read those inbox.
idk if you need me.anyway.
hold on.
till goodbye.
rainbow rush(:
today feels like shit.
everything i do feels like shit.heck.sometimes life gets so totally boring that you can't just stand it.me.i just can't stand still.i wanna walk/run/fly/crawl/hunt to evrywhere.with no stops.just water breaks i guess.and sitting at home with nothing to be done is so frustrating.not that there's 'nothing' to be done.but all the things are done already.so.movie at home with cousin is boring.and i fell asleep halfway.waking up to mum and dad talking loudly.was suppose to have dinner outside.but.due to father's a little haywire mood,everthing was canceled.so.cheese toast for dinner everyone!huahuahuahua.
ok.i'm so nonsensing.i so wanna catch shyla tmr.but.idk.
umm.idk.
idk.
gah!
sometimes i wonder
rainbow rush(:
date
the day was spent with bestfriend.i had fun.honest :)
plainsunset.river song.