IT WENT UP DOWN UP DOWN AND NOW ITS ALL AROUND...
Its three and im left at home to do this sucky art prep work..6 more boards to go! 'best thing'..im SICK!! shiit!! the temperature went up yesterday morning den went down by noon and went out with Char to town and flea market..and went i reached home and continued with more art stuffs the temperature went up up up and away..now its 39 degrees..hot on the inside cold on the outside..sound like some food ads! daddy bought some cooling water and 'eno' for me to cool off..so far,i think i've drank more than 2 jugs of water olredi and haven't stop going in and out of the toilet lately..my gums are swollen due to the ulcer..and still have this tupit art to finish up...ohmy!
its me not you
rainbow rush(:
WE'VE GOT SOME STRAIGHTENING TO DO...
Yeah..That for sure..and i meant it for myself..gosh! this week has been full of anger..sadness..confusion..im not sure what i want and im confuse for who i am..i dun noe who my REAL FRIENDS ARE..im not sure if my life is alright..all i want to do is be alone..noe my inner self..shud i seal myself and be pushed around by those who are called 'FRIENDS' OR MORE LIKE UNGRATEFUL PEOPLE..i dun wish it to go on and yearn for all to be alright like bafore..but will i fail again and will time fly and make me stupid and dumb enough to fall for my friends...they sait i can't leave this going on,but what should i do...'let it go' they sait..you deserve better people around you...but the guilt stays if i leave them..is this what life is?? i feel like running not turning back searching for the one person to talk to and listen to every heartful hurt i've been thru...i yearn to sleep an endless one not wanting to wake up again...i yearn to know myself inside out and move on with my life...not attention is what i seek..only loyalty as friends and treating me like any other human beings is what im looking for...i do have feelings to..and shouting at me won't solve anything more hurting...if suicide is legal i'll be dead by now...every thought of what i am kills me inside...my life's not perfect and i an't do much to fix that...all i want is just some appreciation and respect as your friend...IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? i think im sick too...and if i change for the better,i hope things will be alright...I HOPE..
does treating me this way makes you feel happy?think about it..are you happy now that im not...................................................................
rainbow rush(:
Will you come to me
If i walk away from you
Will you run to me
If i'm crying through
Will you talk to me
If i din't pick up your call
Will you tell me i'm in your heart
If i dun return your smile
Will you?
rainbow rush(:
FEELING OH-SO-WRONG!
Gosh!dunno what i've been feeling since the friday nite thingy..ohmy...!In any way have to get over it larr..alrite here we go on today's stuffs thats been going on..
not much actually,just that i feel a little diffrent of how i feel everyday..sumthings wrong..talked over stuffs with charmaine..sumties i feels like they understands me better than my close friends does..haiish..my 'worry buddies' really get me going thru the day..thanks to them! had art lessons and finally traced the whole piece just that it's not relli in full detail..gonna werk on that as soon as i finished my colour schemes..sadly,haven't even finished my first layout!hah!seems to be working super sloow on art =(
went home about 3,called dad to fetch me as i'll be bringing the whole art thing back home for completion,got to noe that prep work have to be submitted by this friday..GOSH!4 days left to finished up watever's left..hope i can make it! =) went home..overslept till 6 and got hiid's msg saying she's alredi ready..and ya..get dressed quickly and went off to cp to meet her and nana..got mcD's for dinner..and off to school(nite study)..did art...and sadly again,onli managed to colour 3 flowers!hahahaha!!! SUPER DUPER SLOOOW LARRRR!!!
Parents are again on the 'abang' thing uhh...shiit!bet they'll gonna make lots of noise later..argueing as usual larr..shitto!!hate it..my back aching and everyone's making it worst!
i miss you..wherever you are..i'm still yearning to hear from you....
rainbow rush(:
HEAD CAN'T STOP SPINNING
Was 'Be Yourself Day' yesterday..so ya woke up early get ready and met the rest at cp interchange..had bad hair day so my mood wasn't at the best addition with mum nagging early2 morning..haiiyaa!
School was kinda fun with ppl wearing watever they wan to..school was sumhow buzzing with laughter and all..recess,took pix of ppl and the environment..hahas!the girls were crazily voting the competition thingy..haha!lots fun that was..maths..after school..went to cikgu to get the cake from her..was tricked into her 'sumbody-cut-out-a-piece-of-the-cake-i-think-the-teacher-thought-it-was-for-them' thing!hahaha!that really stopped my heart..gosh!she really got me..happy birthdays singing..cutting cake..more pictures taken..went off to hg mall for lunch..to Ljs..took pics again..was kinda frustrated coz sumone kinda spoil the moood..hah!watever...
went pooling to sumwhere near the istana..it charges 10.50 per hour and that's really expensive!so we took an hour for a table and went off to esplanade..b4 that met nana at plaza spore and took NEL to city hall..walked thru city hall underpass to esplanade..on the way spotted harry potter's stuffs from one of the book storeds display..funniest thing..abd was being the crazy him and looked into the display and did sumthing that made ninie push him..and his head hit on the glass loudly!hahahaha! that was hilarous! his faced was all crammed up..!lol! at esplanade underpass and they went on about the 'sketer girl' thing again!hahaha...finally reached outsite esplanade and took more pics for hiid's media project thing..
then...sumone called and caused everything to be messed up............................................
mum called shoted for me to come home and this and that and this and that....
followed them to marina square for dinner.....
went home afterwards-ALONE....
smoking that deep wasn't that bad..
im back to the old one..
rainbow rush(:
SPEECHLESS FOR A SECOND.....
I think i miss Daryl..haha! the weird thing is that whenever i felt depressed he suddenly text me..hah!so typical 'dum-dum'!! I have to admit though even that we're apart now,the feelings still a little there..hmmms..sometimes i just miss those late nite ghats and laughs we shared for like erm..about 3 weeks++..as a matter of fact we like actually stay contact for quite some time..LOL!
went to nite studies with JAENA just now,just came back like 1hr 45mins earlier..was in the bus with Jae and saw this 'two kids' from our school...aiish!haha..did sum of my art stuffs den came vani,yana,kavitha,yulin,mai,hakim and friends..HAHA!funny larr they all..and i think most of the boys is starting to be like Danial and Qhaizul who sings to whoever and whenever they want to..!Hakim was singing all the way..ya and the sky starts to turn super red..so,most probably it'll rain later..aniwae it already started drizzling by the time we were out and the bus stop!hah!
Jaena was a laugh..walked to kopitiam bus stop with Jae,Mai,Yulin and Hakim thru punggol park..super dark,got a lil dizzy as i was only wearing my left contacts..heez..
Vani went kinda emo at the bus stop earlier coz aavram was at the opposite bus stop...pity her,but we're humans..we can't change what had happened..its good that they're still friends afetr being together for soo loong..yana went home with khidir..soooo sweet!!hahaha...i kinda miss the old her...and zak wasn't in school today..haiiish!
felt kinda down going home alone..then out of the blue..Daryl called...kuang!kuang!kuang!chatted all the way back home...craziie arse,made me smile like a psyco all the way home!hahahaha.........how i hope things can get back to normal..
**i go to school..finish school i go home <--how cute can that be??**
rainbow rush(:
TIME OF MY LIFE!
darns! i can't load pix in my blogg...!!
back to schooool tomorrow and night classes here i come!!
ART FINALLY!!!!!!!
lurvin it much........
rainbow rush(:
"LIVE EARTH" WAS AWESOME!!!!
Yeah!!LIVE EARTH concert-AWESOME!! i slept kinda late yesterday to watch it..even though im not familiar with some of the songs,but it still sounds gooood! The australian crowd is superbly enthusiastic...COOLNESS!they sang along damn loud,had a time of my life watching "Live Earth"..LOL!
Went out yesterday to AMK withe bro and mummy dearest as lil sister is out for the NDP thingy and so is big bro..went to AMK library,intended to borrow books but there's outstanding balances in the a/c,so ya too bad have to leave the library that we've spent 2 hours in searching for books with nothing in our hands! stupidity! lil bro and me met up wit mummy after her quran session and head to AMK Hub..SUPER DUPER BIG!! tired after walking around the whole building..got to noe that there's a cinema at the 5th floor..COOLNESS again! begged mum to bring us watch transformers as lil bro and me is SUPER CRAZY boud it...sadly,we didn't have enuf time,so maybe we'll proceed with the movie thing dis coming week..HMMSH!
Later met up with dad,had dinner,to courts to get the windows office thing but its out of stock and went to sembawang to fetch big bro from his camp..otw,lil sis called saying she've alredi reached home and no ones home yet..HAHA!
Went CRAZY with the NDP stuffs that lil sis got,espacially the CLAPPER and the MINI FAN!!!
woohoo! the fan is super cool coz as it spins,words will form on it as if its floating on air..COOL RIIITE???heeeeeesss...!!
Lastly,daddy called saying we're having lunch outsite today as its mummy's birthday...
so..."HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY"!!!
rainbow rush(:
GOING ON...GOING WELL...
Finally!!! Im coping with everything around well..PMS!gosh...lil sis is finally home from her p5 camp trip..yey!i've got someone to sleep with after 2 days of her avsence..LOL! and big bro is home to after his looong stay in camp,actually i prefer him not coming home..more peace at home.heh:)
browse thru my friends profile and seems that they've move on much..ok,i've got 3 months to go before this 'schoolin' thing finish..and hopefully i'll make it thru smoothly.school was whack just now..tired as i can't relly sleep last nite due to loneliness..HAH!! poa was normally sucky even how much i tried to cope with it,mrs khoo's not here for our english lesson so nad and hiid sang songs to cheer us up..then came the 'the girl who didn't bathe'..LOL!just fooling around,adilah came round and talked to us..haha!very cute lar she,made us laugh!
recess...
3 period of maths..maths,maths,maths!ohmy..im getting kinda sick of it..mrs thia's not there for lesson so we're left with a set of worksheet and furthur math exercises..hmmsh!gave up as the qns are super difficult!maths~
overall,recess is the best period of the day..haha!
tireD..pms..hahaha!!!
july babies took foto just now and i think their faces looked too far in the foto..gonna get a new one taken this monday..newae,naem jo not there just now..monday-proceeed..
tuition was fun with kak shakinah and fa...fa-LOL!!
*'the friend' was a great laugh for me today
rainbow rush(:
IM SICK OF THIS THING CALLED 'SCHOOLING'!!
I dun noe what's come over ,e today..was damn moody..even though how i tried to hide it..arrgh!! i hate it when it comes to this!And im freaking *sick of 'these' people who act as if im no human!!stupid *girl!!!! who do you think you are brushing me off like dat..if she can't handle her own friends why brush someone off who her friends rather be with.."COPE WITH YOUR BLARDY EMOTIONS AND DON'T DRAG US DOWN!"soo irritated with ppl like this!!arrgh!!!then to poa lesson...i *still can't get this thing about poa...where's the trick bout it aniway??! i tried to listen by i juz can't get pass it!darn...i hate poa...what with the teacher keep picking on the "ED's"..like we're soo bad..if we're so bad why do most of us drop dat subject...who's the bad one now??!thinking bout poa makes me wanna drop school!!what with art not progressing much...and the teacher not bothering bout it even though we passed up our 1st layout...what is wrong with them teachers??? push us if you much so that it'll get us working...haiish!!!!purposely skipped maths lesson and maths srp coz i think the teacher's been pushing us too much!i relly feel that we students need to speak up!what with the practice xam coming up...and they decide to give us this 2 hrs practice paper on maths..why not use the time for the teacher to revise with us with what we're not sure of!!sick of it!sick of having to hear out my friends when they themselves deserve it!sick of this damn life where friends you tried to be good with treat you like *SHIT! where people everyday look at you in a different way and dat hurts you coz you did not do anything *STUPID! DUMB LIFE GOING ON AND IM STILL ATTACHED TO IT NO MATTER HOW I TRIED TO PULL IT AWAY!!
haiish..im still in doubt..not sure of what to do now...i guess i'll wait and see...
*sicksicksick!!!!!!!!!!
rainbow rush(: